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Back Out With Benny

San Diego a destination for all

Posted: January 6th, 2017 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | No Comments

By Ben Cartwright

If you are on Facebook, you may have noticed the “Year in Review” feature that users were able to access. The social media platform’s algorithms created a cute little video of your top photos of the year and had some facts about your Facebook usage over the year.

In 2016, I added 299 new friends, reacted to 64,607 posts (be it likes, hearts, wows, sads, or angries) and checked in to 906 places.

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In defense of flaking

Posted: December 9th, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | No Comments

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny I had an interesting conversation with a man at a bar recently. After sitting next to each other for about 10 months, we struck up a conversation and the topic of “flaking” came up. “Flakes,” for those who don’t know, are those who tend to say they’ll show up somewhere or do something, but then bail out, usually with no notice, reason, or phone call.

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Be kind to each other

Posted: November 11th, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | No Comments

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny It’s really hard to write a column on Election Day, as the course of our nation will change drastically depending on its results. While this column will be published a few days after we know who our next president will be, at the time of this writing, I have no idea. So I’m not going to write anything about that. This isn’t typically a political column anyway.

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Racial justice is an LGBTQ issue

Posted: September 30th, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | 5 Comments

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny As I began to write this column on Tuesday, I saw the news on social media of yet another person shot by a police officer. Every time this happens (and it happens more than we even know), my heart sinks. And this time, the shooting was very close to home in El Cajon, California, just a 10-minute drive east of San Diego.

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Showing up

Posted: September 2nd, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | No Comments

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny With Labor Day this weekend, many students have already gone back to school, and if they haven’t, they likely will next week. This time of year is always nostalgic for me, as I spent the first 13 years of my adult life being involved in higher education, either as a student or as an employee at San Diego State. And while I still visit SDSU a few times […]

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My journey with AIDS Walk

Posted: August 5th, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | No Comments

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny Last month, I shared with you the story of my first realization of San Diego Pride — or the fact that this thing called Pride existed anywhere — in 1996 at the age of 16. Well, it turns out that 1996 was a year of all sorts of discoveries for me. It was also the year I discovered AIDS Walk San Diego — and started seriously getting scared.

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It’s always someone’s first time

Posted: July 8th, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | 1 Comment

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny This year marks 20 years since I first became aware of San Diego Pride. It was 1996 and I was 16 years old. I remember picking up the Sunday morning San Diego Union-Tribune and seeing a story about the San Diego Gay & Lesbian Pride Parade on the front page of the local section. Having just recently realized that I was gay but still in the closet, I […]

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Weeding out ignorance online

Posted: June 10th, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | No Comments

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny I hop on Grindr every so often, and if you’ve been in the radius of me after I’ve been drinking lots of wine, you may have received one of my drunken invitations to cuddle. Gay social and hook-up apps may have their ups and downs, but I’ve met some cool people on the various incarnations of these types of sites — remember AOL chat rooms? Hyper-terminal bulletin […]

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It’s OK to age

Posted: April 1st, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | 2 Comments

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny Age is a funny thing. Many people make such a big deal about growing older, when really it’s something that should be celebrated. By the time next month’s column is printed, I will have aged another year, turning 36 and hitting the second half of my 30s. While I know that I’m still very young (many of my older friends will remind me of that!), I always get […]

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The month of love

Posted: February 5th, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | 1 Comment

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny January is my least favorite month. It’s dark and cold, and the festive lights and cheer that hide the dark and cold in December mostly go away. Then of course there’s the pressure to start something new or change habits in the form of New Year’s resolutions, which in most cases, get pushed back with excuses as each day passes in January.

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To be ‘young and gay’

Posted: January 8th, 2016 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | 1 Comment

By Ben Cartwright | Back Out With Benny I was thinking the other day about what it felt like to be young and gay. While I know at 35 years old, I’m still “young,” I’m certainly not 18 years old anymore. There was an innocence, excitement and curiosity that just can’t be matched.

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Mixing the holidays with community

Posted: November 27th, 2015 | Back Out With Benny, Columns, Featured | No Comments

By Benny Cartwright | Back out with Benny I was really sick with a stomach infection (I’ll spare you the dirty details) at the end of October and first couple weeks of this month. While I’ve been lucky to have relatively good health — even a more severe illness like this one didn’t have me completely knocked down — I did find myself taking it much easier, staying in a lot more, and missing quite a […]

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