mail

Life Beyond Therapy

Why I’m an optimist

Posted: October 28th, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

By Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy You might think with so much ugliness, cruelty and fear in the world, that optimism would be foolish or naïve. Nope. The ugliness has always been there, but now, it’s all out there for everyone to see it. These days, the ugliness is coming out of the closet.

Read More

The PTSD experience

Posted: October 14th, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

Life Beyond Therapy | Michael Kimmel In the world of psychology, PTSD — post-traumatic stress disorder — is how doctors describe the experience of recovering from trauma. Created in 1980, the term was used to describe soldiers coming back from war: These men and women had often killed people and watched their friends die. Extremely traumatic, right? I would like to posit a slightly different definition of PTSD.

Read More

Can you be happy for someone else?

Posted: September 30th, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

By Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy There’s a word in Buddhism, “muditā,” which means “celebrating the success of others.” The first time I heard it, at a meditation retreat in Northern California, I wondered, “Why is the teacher talking about this? What does this have to do with feeling calm and peaceful?”

Read More

The ABCs of couples counseling

Posted: September 2nd, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

By Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy Over the years, many people have asked me a lot of questions about couples counseling. For this column, I’ve boiled those questions down to three, which I call the ABCs of couples counseling: A: What can couples counseling do for my partner and I (the possibilities)? B: What should we expect (the content)? C: When is the best time to start (the timing)?

Read More

Burned out at work?

Posted: August 19th, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

By Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy I see a lot of clients who have problems with their jobs. They tell me they feel burned out at work. I define this kind of burnout as job-related mental and physical exhaustion that has a negative effect on your personal life. Here are some signs you may be approaching (or experiencing) burnout:

Read More

The imposter syndrome

Posted: August 5th, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

By Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy When you were a little kid, didn’t you look at all the hard-working grownups all around you and think, “Wow, they’re so good. I hope I can be like them some day.” And then, as an adult, you look around you and think, “Wow, we’re all just faking it. None of us are really that good.”

Read More

Don’t lose yourself in a relationship

Posted: July 22nd, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

By Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy Often, when I counsel newly-married couples, I hear a familiar lament: “I feel like I’ve lost myself since I got married” or “After moving in with my partner, I feel like I’ve merged with them so much that I don’t know who I am anymore.” You fall in love. You move in. You get married. You get lost.

Read More

Beneath anger, there is sadness

Posted: June 24th, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

By Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy In 1995, when I was a middle school counselor in San Francisco, I was asked to facilitate an anger management group for the most out-of-control boys in the school. Most of the boys in this group were in trouble with the law; they stole cars, belonged to gangs, carried guns … you know, they were just the kind of people I usually hung out with. One of the main […]

Read More

How to grieve in wake of Orlando tragedy

Posted: June 14th, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy As the tragedy in Orlando continues to unfold, I find myself asking: How do you grieve for someone you don’t know? How do you grieve when the situation keeps changing? How do you grieve when it’s all so confusing? I have written this column to answer these questions and to offer you some suggestions on what to do with your grief.

Read More

Go to the mirror

Posted: June 10th, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

By Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy Mirror work is something I first tried about 30 years ago. I went to a workshop in West Hollywood where author and teacher Louise Hay encouraged people to talk to themselves in the mirror. I thought it was pretty weird and resisted it, at first; but today, I frequently use it in my counseling practice and in my personal life.

Read More

How to be popular

Posted: May 13th, 2016 | Columns, Featured, Life Beyond Therapy | No Comments

By Michael Kimmel | Life Beyond Therapy There are hundreds of books and videos on how to be popular. In this column, I’d like to talk about some of the personality characteristics I’ve noticed over the years in clients, friends and colleagues who were particularly loved and cherished.

Read More