By D’Anne Witkowski | Guest Editorial
Food poisoning sucks, y’all. I just vomited with such force that I’m fairly certain some major internal organs have left my body along with my soul. And, to top it off, I just got a spam text from some “horny single woman” telling me she’s all alone tonight and wants to suck my you-know-what. Mind you, I’m sitting here dehydrated, saltine crumbs all over my shirt, but hey, nice to know I’ve still got it. If I had the strength I’d get up off the couch to show these texts to my wife.
Alas, she’ll have to read about my new girlfriend in this column along with the rest of you. So what to do on a night like tonight? Well, I’m following Jeremy Hooper on Twitter (@goodasyou) as he essentially live-tweets the awful evangelical jamboree happening at the White House right now. While I was clutching the toilet bowl and praying for Jesus to take me, Trump and his family, including LGBTQ “allies” Ivanka and Jared, were rubbing elbows with some of the most hateful anti-LGBTQ figures alive.
This is, of course, not a surprise. Trump needs these folks in his corner. A Republican really can’t win without the evangelical vote these days. It’s also not a surprise that these so-called Christians are falling all over themselves to worship Trump as their God. Mind you, it seems like a contradiction for folks who claim to be culture war warriors to fawn over a man who literally embodies the opposite of all the things they claim to hold dear. But if you’ve been studying this crowd as long as I have, well, it’s fitting.
As Hooper puts it, “If you’re surprised that political evangelicals would show up to this White House despite the many reasons to not, you haven’t been paying attention for four decades. Rank hypocrisy in service of their desired outcome is, was, and always will be their m.o.”
I’d like to point out the often trotted out complaint about Democrats, that they need to stand for something, not just against Trump. Never mind that this complaint completely ignores the fact that Dems actually have a whole slew of actual policy proposals rooted in the principal that we should give a shit about fellow human beings.
This complaint does, however, fit radical evangelicals perfectly and helps explain their love of Trump. As Hooper points out, we’ve watched for the past 40 years as evangelicals work against LGBTQ people, women, people of color (shout-out to Jeff Sessions). They have used their power and influence to diminish all who dared demand equality. The fight for marriage equality is the most recent high-profile example. It’s a fight that a lot of people thought we’d “won” given the 2015 Supreme Court ruling and all. And yet here we are, an anti-LGBTQ judge nominated and ready to tip the court against equality. Just three years later, and we could see marriage equality evaporate. And that is terrifying. And so wrong.
As Hooper tweets, “I realize some might not understand why I and likeminded activists focus so much on the marriage stuff when there is SO MUCH MORE. What you must realize is we paused our lives for over a decade to fight a ‘culture war’ that they waged against us on this sole subject.”
Marriage equality was, and is, a BFD. Who sits on our courts is a BFD. Which is why evangelicals have no problem looking the other way when Trump breaks any and all commandments. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some saltines to regurgitate. Oh, and I also hope everyone at the evangelical dinner gets sick AF.
—D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.