Letters to the Editor: Dec. 8 – 21, 2017

Posted: December 8th, 2017 | Editorial, Featured, Letters to the editor | 1 Comment

You helped to feed over 600 people

The 29th annual Scott Carlson Thanksgiving Community Dinner and Food Drive resulted in over 600 people receiving a tasty meal of turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, green beans, cranberry sauce, rolls and pies at The San Diego LGBT Community Center; the City Heights Elderly Senior Housing Center; UC San Diego Hillcrest sixth floor; as well as the Hillcrest fire station.

Grocery food vouchers were given to families at Florence Elementary School, family programs at The Center, the Nicole Murray Ramirez Latino Services, Christie’s Place, and some elderly, shut-in San Diegans.

The Imperial Court de San Diego, founded in 1973, has been hosting holiday food drives for well over four decades with the loyal support of the local LGBT community, its allies, bars, businesses and other organizations.

The Imperial Court de San Diego would like to thank the following who made this year’s Thanksgiving program so successful:

Rob Benzon Foundation; California State Senator Toni G. Atkins; Assemblymember Todd Gloria; Assemblymember Lorena Gonzalez Fletcher; Integrity; Andrew Blair Michaels; Sarah Critchlow and Redwing Bar & Grill; Sir Nicholas and San Diego Eagle; Chris Shaw; Robert Gleason; San Diego Firefighters Association; Tom Urbanski; Tim Maxwell; Mike Bray; David Haasz; Ben Robbins; Ashtray David; Milo Angel; San Diego Cruisers Motorcycle Club; El Bisarra; Rickie; Angel Fairfax; Donald Vella; Bears San Diego; Brett Staffter; Jessica Wright Carter; Chad Michaels; Nathan Kendrick; Tamanava Eden-McKlinton; Huson McKlinton; Lisa Marie; Gregory Swales; Ken Grough; Tom Hebrank; Sean and Jackson Redmond; Kiki Elizabeth; Derriel Carter; Robert Rodriguez; Julie Hoffman; Summer Lee; Craig A. Morgan; Wayne Dietz; Community Prescriptions (Walgreen’s Pharmacy); Mark Dobberthein; Lazy Acres Natural Market; Joseph Vail; HRC San Diego; The Center; The Rail; Deximus Starr; Stepping Stone; and all the wonderful volunteers.

—Michael Lochner, president; BigMike Phillips, chair; Nicole Murray Ramirez, executive director

Important work

[Ref: “NYC’s ‘Day With(out) Art’ comes to San Diego,” Vol. 8, Issue 24, or online at]

So proud to be collaborating with outstanding service organizations like POZabilities, arts organizations like Media Arts Center San Diego and artists like Patrick Brown. Thank you Joyell and Gay San Diego for letting the public know about both DAY WITH(OUT) ART and POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE.

—Patric Stillman, via

Thanks, Patric, for pulling this all together. You do so much for the art community, too.

—John, via

Therapeutic thoughts

[Ref: “Life Beyond Therapy: PTSD, panic attacks and me,” Vol. 8, Issue 22, or online at]

Thank you for this post. Recently within the last year or so I have had really bad anxiety attacks and not sure where they came from or what caused it. But my last relationship was a hard one to get over at times and still is, I liked your suggestions on calming the nervous system.

—Warren, via

[Response from the author:]

You’re welcome. I’ve gotten a few emails from people who, like you, are dealing with the repercussions of (past) trauma. The good news is that you can begin to work it through so it doesn’t continue to “haunt” you.

As I mention in the column, there are three good ways to begin working through your panic/anxiety. And, of course, there are many others.

Please take action and begin to free yourself. It can be done — I know, I’ve done it!

—Peace and fire, Michael Kimmel, author of Gay San Diego’s “Life Beyond Therapy” column

LGBT senior apartments

[Ref: “Senior Matters: North Park Senior apartments — the journey,” Vol. 8, Issue 23, or online at]

What’s the meaning of “gay affirming?” Does it mean that, as an older gay man, I have a priority in being considered for a desirable housing unit in the new senior complex? The phrase sounds like it was confected by lawyers and so demands some amplification for us non-lawyerly folk. Great to have LGBT senior housing at last!

—Ed Hansen, via

Thank you so much for a well-done job! Many of the clients I work for are older and don’t have the funds to pay rent in San Diego, and unfortunately after having lived in this city for many, many years, they’re forced to move away to die alone in cities where they have no friends or relatives! Once again muchas gracias por tú labor atruista!

—Franko Guillén, via

Thank you, William for sticking with this monumental LGBT effort for seniors through thick and thin. It is a terrific achievement and will help to motivate others in doing things like this in the future.

—John Falchi, via

Musings on open relationships

[Ref: “Life Beyond Therapy: Gay marriage: Monogamous or open?” Vol. 8, Issue 12, or online at]

Hi, I just read your article and I have to say that there is one thing that I clearly disagree with you on. As a single gay man that has been trying to date or get into a one-on-one dating relationship for a long time now, I do not agree that “if you meet someone that is in an open-relationship, they will tell you they are in such a relationship and then it is up to you to decide to be with that person or not.”

In my experiences that statement is false. Many, many times both myself and my friends have gone out on several dates with a guy (even sleeping together on several occasions) and then find out later from him or through someone else that he is not really single at all.

There is a really big part of gay men that are in open relationships that are not being honest about that to other men that they meet and connect up with. Which means that a lot of them are lying to you when you connect up with them.

—T. Curtis, via

One Comments

  1. I would like to respond to T. Curtis who commented on a GSD article I wrote about monogamy and open relationships. Mr. Curtis said that, in his experience, a lot of gay men lie about being single, when, in actuality, they’re not.

    I am sorry Mr. Curtis had that experience. I guess the gay men I have worked with and interviewed (over the years) are a more honest bunch. I would advise Mr. Curtis – or anyone – to be very direct about this when meeting someone new, asking them, “Are you in an open relationship or seeing anyone else?” before you go out with them.

    I would hope that such a direct question would evoke an honest answer. If it doesn’t, I’m not sure what else any one of us could do in that situation.

    Peace and fire,
    Michael Kimmel

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