Gay dating is hard, especially if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
While I’m here for the sex-positivity of our gay community, it can leave us feeling lonely. How can you have a long-term relationship when it seems like all gay men are just looking for sex?
However, with sites like OkCupid!, there’s hope for us gay romantics!
As a gay man who’s found dating men difficult himself, I’ve put together this list of the 10 best gay dating sites for men who want long-term relationships.
Hopefully one of these gay dating sites finds your Mr. Right!
Top 10 Gay Dating Apps and Sites
Best gay site for dating
2. Zoosk
Gay short-term or long-term relationships
3. Match.com
Best gay dating site for serious relationships
4. Adult Friend Finder (AFF)
Best gay hookup site
5. Elite Singles
Well-educated professional gay men
6. Grindr
Location based gay dating and hookups
7. Tinder
Getting back on the day dating scene
8. Plenty Of Fish (POF)
Best gay dating site for finding chemistry
9. OkCupid!
Diverse popular gay dating site for the LGBT community
10. Scruff
Gay hook ups and chats
1. EHarmony
Started in 2000, eHarmony is one of the most famous dating sites online, which helps to naturally increase the size of its user base.
Couples are matched based on personality traits and qualities like extraversion, emotional intimacy, and much more. What I like about eHarmony is how the “Two Of You Together” feature tells you exactly WHY you’re being matched with someone and what personality traits the site thinks that you share.
You’re not just blindly matched with someone and told to trust the algorithm!
While it’s not super popular with the gays, the site has millions of members and organizes 15 million matches every day, so there’s plenty of room for gay men looking to date.
You can use either the website or the eHarmony app, both of which have very simple UIs which are nice and easy to use.
PROS
- Millions of members around the world
- Start conversations with ice-breaker questions
- Gay men here are looking for serious love
- App or website version
CONS
- Premium accounts get a lot more features
- Homophobic company history
- More geared toward straight people
Main Features:
- "Two of You Together" match assessments
- Answer questions as ice-breakers
- Match based on extraversion, altruism, emotional intimacy and more
- Millions of members
2. Zoosk
Zoosk is very popular with people in the 25-34 age range, so if you’re looking for gay dating but you’re on the younger side, this gay dating site is perfect for queer millennials.
One of the most unique features with Zoosk, in addition to its stupid name, is the “Zoosk Tokens” that you can buy with real money to give matches virtual digital gifts.
For instance, 20 coins get you a virtual bottle of red wine with two glasses, while 25 coins get you a digital teddy bear.
Fun stuff!
While digital gift-giving seems like a pointless cash-grab to me, it does appeal to some people. I suppose it’s the virtual equivalent of buying someone a drink at a bar… you spend a few dollars on them to show that you’re seriously interested and not just playing around.
PROS
- Unique gift-giving helps indicate a serious interest
- Profiles can be validated
- Simple bio and profile layout
- Multiple profile photos allowed
CONS
- Profiles are a tad basic
- The whole Zoosk Coin thing feels cash-grabby
Main Features:
- 40 million members and counting
- Tokens to buy "Digital Gifts" for people
- Validated profiles
- Popular with the 25-34 age range
3. Match.com
If you want to do basically anything on Match.com, you need to have a premium membership. Now, that might sound like a bad thing, but it’s one of this dating site’s biggest advantages. Essentially, you weed out all the flakey people and are left with single gay men who are willing to pay a membership fee to find “the one”.
Match.com has been around for over 25 years, so they’re pretty good at the whole matchmaking thing by now. On the whole, the user base of this dating site tends to be people in their 30s or older who are looking to find a serious partner and settle down for the future.
The dating app lets you have up to 26 profile photos, which is good if you’ve got multiple hobbies/vacations you want to show off, and user profiles tend to be very detailed, including cute little icons to show you whether people smoke, drink, want children, are religious, and many other things.
PROS
- Users tend to be serious about finding love
- Plenty of gay users
- Dating app or website versions
- Up to 26 profile pictures allowed
CONS
- You basically need to pay to do anything
- Membership is a little pricey
Main Features:
- Has been matching people since the 1990s
- Over 8 million premium members
- Slightly older demographic (30s+)
- Well-trusted matchmaking algorithms
4. Adult Friend Finder (AFF)
Okay, I’m not going to lie, Adult Friend Finder is geared more toward sex and swinging than it is gay dating. However, some open-minded queer men do use AFF for online dating, especially if they want to find serious partners who are open-minded about sex.
You can filter guys on AFF according to gender, age, location, sexuality, profile photos, and much more. This sexy online dating site also has live cams to chat with other users, as well as adult chatrooms, blogs, education centers, and a whole lot more.
PROS
- Sex-positive and open-minded guys
- Trans-friendly
- Messaging, chat rooms, live cams - multiple ways to connect
- Mostly male users
CONS
- Designed for sex more than online dating
- Problems with bots and fake profiles
- Gold membership required for unlimited messaging
Main Features:
- Over 80 million users
- Gay men/women and trans users accepted
- Geared more toward sex, swinging, and hookups
- Sexy live gay cam chats
5. Elite Singles
Elite Singles is an online dating site designed for people who are professionals and/or university educated. Users fill out a detailed personality questionnaire when they sign up, which takes about 20-25 minutes overall.
Like eHarmony, Elite Singles gives you “ice breaker” questions that you can use to start conversations when messaging users. The customer care team can also verify user profiles, so you can know for sure whether this hot guy talking to you is the real deal.
Phew!
On the downside, it’s mostly for straight people and the whole “elite” platform lends itself to arrogant self-important users who think they’re god’s gift to the earth… proceed with caution.
PROS
- Good for meeting gay professionals
- Brilliant personality test feature
- Most guys are looking for serious romance
- Fake profiles aren't a problem
CONS
- You need to pay for a membership
- Membership is pretty expensive
- A lot of arrogant users
Main Features:
- Designed with well-educated people in mind
- 82% of members have a university-level degree
- 90% of members are 30 or older
- Profiles can be verified
6. Grindr
I can’t have a gay dating site review without talking about Grindr – the granddaddy of them all. While this application for gay dating is geared toward sex and hookups, there are filters on this infamous gay hookup app that allow you to search for guys who want something more serious.
We’re not all looking for “right now” (Grindr slang for sex).
Grindr is great for both free and premium users – free users get most of the same features, but can see fewer guys. You can link to your social media pages, post multiple photos, and send as many private messages and photos as you want.
The app has many filters to choose from, though they recently removed the ethnicity filter in wake of the BLM protests. Good riddance!
PROS
- See gay men closest to your current location
- #1 most popular dating app gay men use
- Fun features like "Gaymojis" and "Taps" to indicate interest
- Free version is good and Grindr Xtra is a decent price
CONS
- No personality-based matches
- A lot of flakey guys
- Sex is the main goal for many users
Main Features:
- Location-based matches
- Various "tribe" filters (twink, daddy, poz, etc.)
- Good for free and premium users
- World's #1 most popular gay hookup app
7. Tinder
Tinder is one of the best gay dating apps because it’s like the yin to Grindr’s yang. Most gays looking for sex are on Grindr, but many of the gays looking for romance are on Tinder.
Like Grindr, Tinder keeps it simple. It’s all about looks. You’re shown a couple pictures of a person, and you decide in a split-second whether or not you would want to plow them.
You know what? Fair enough.
Adam4Adam com might have the best matchmaking algorithm in the world, but if you’re not attracted to a guy, it’s just not gonna work.
So for men seeking men who don’t want to read a dating profile longer than the Magna Carta, Tinder can be a great choice. Also, you only speak once you’ve both “swiped right” to indicate interest in each other… you never feel like you’re punching above your weight when messaging!
PROS
- Simple location-based matches
- Only speak to guys you've matched with
- Upload multiple photos
- Among the best dating platforms for gay singles
CONS
- Superficial and based on looks
- Fake/bot profiles are common
Main Features:
- Gay users tend to be looking for romance
- Simple "swipe left" or "swipe right" interface
- Upload a simple bio with multiple photos
- Link to Facebook, Spotify, and more
8. Plenty Of Fish (POF)
I, like many gay men, first discovered this website when it was plugged in Gaga’s music video for “Telephone” back in 2010.
Open to all sexualities and gender identity options, Plenty Of Fish (or POF) is a dating site that uses an in-depth personality assessment to match you to hot guys in your area.
You can also use their famous “Chemistry Predictor” test designed by dating experts to match someone based on not just personality traits, but additional things like sex habits.
Count me in!
POF comes with both a mobile app and a gay dating website, though I would say that the site is better. There are plenty of great apps for gay people out there, so I’d stick with the website for this one.
PROS
- Advanced matchmaking features
- Free accounts can still do quite a lot
- Many search capabilities
CONS
- UI is basic and a little dated
- Many people misrepresent themselves on profiles
Main Features:
- Messaging anyone is free
- Online personality matching system
- Around 90 million users worldwide
- "Chemistry Predictor" feature designed by dating experts
9. OkCupid!
If you like doing questionnaires, you’re going to love OkCupid!
Among the top gay dating websites online, OkCupid asks you many, many questions when you sign up, with the gay dating app assessing your personality in-depth to match you with many hot guys from the local dating pool.
You can check out your “featured matches” or use the search tool to filter through 1000s of matches from the user base.
OKC is known for its diverse gender options and orientation options, whether you’re gay, bisexual, trans, non-binary, or anything else. Their website is very lively and colorful, helping you find all kinds of relationships.
OkCupid! has been a favorite among gay guys looking for dates for many years now. It’s queer, it’s quirky, and it’s got millions of dating profiles to peruse.
Good stuff!
PROS
- Very detailed questionnaires
- One of the most diverse and inclusive gay dating sites
- Romantic user base
- Import photos from Facebook and Instagram
CONS
- App is a little slow
- You spend a lot of time answering questions
Main Features:
- Very detailed personality questionnaire
- Dozens of free match recommendations
- Known for the best matchmaking tools
- LGBTQ+ friendly
- All the core features are free
10. Scruff
Another one of the sites like Grindr, Scruff is a location-based gay hookup app designed for queer men from all walks of life. Most profile settings are optional, so you can fill out as much or as little as you want.
The app is more sex-based, but it’s possible to chat and organize dates too. Lots of couples actually have linked Scruff accounts which they use for organizing threesomes and orgies, so this is a really good gay dating app if you’re looking for an open or semi-open relationship.
If all this wasn’t enough, Scruff also organizes meet-ups and events too. Woof!
PROS
- Most popular gay app after Grindr
- Majority of profiles are real and verified
- See how often users respond to messages
- Send nude photo albums privately
CONS
- More sex and hook up oriented
- Half-naked profile photos not allowed
- Pop up ads on free version
Main Features:
- Location-based gay hookup app
- Send nude photo albums privately
- "Communities" like twink, daddy, drag, poz, etc.
- Scruff Pro is pretty cheap
You might also be interested in Best Gay Cam Sites and Best Gay Hookup Sites
Conclusion – What’s The Top Queer Dating App?
For me, the greatest day gating sites have to be Tinder and Match.com, though there are pros and cons to all of these gay dating sites depending on what you’re looking for and what kind of person you are.
Whichever of these gay dating sites works for you, I hope you find the gay love you’re looking for!
Best gay site for dating
2. Zoosk
Gay short-term or long-term relationships
3. Match.com
Best gay dating site for serious relationships
4. Adult Friend Finder (AFF)
Best gay hookup site
5. Elite Singles
Well-educated professional gay men
6. Grindr
Location based gay dating and hookups
7. Tinder
Getting back on the day dating scene
8. Plenty Of Fish (POF)
Best gay dating site for finding chemistry
9. OkCupid!
Diverse popular gay dating site for the LGBT community
10. Scruff
Gay hook ups and chats
